Tuesday, July 17, 2012

I'm a Brave Birl Now!

So I'm in Star, Idaho at Brave Girls Camp and got through the first night.  I survived telling my story and explaining why I came and what I wanted to get out of being there.  I had been suffering from a deep depression for a couple of years; if not longer.

If you have read past posts then you know my depression was in part due to my dad's suicide in 2004.  Sitting in Melody's living room surrounded by all these loving people, here was the only thing I knew for sure ~ I DIDN'T WANT TO BE DEPRESSED ANYMORE!  I was as deeply sick of it as I was deeply depressed.  I just didn't know how to get out of it.

Melody said she had been to the depths and found her way back...and she wanted to share the way out with us.  I was all ears, heart and soul.

One of the things Melody shared was about "messy endings."  This idea caught my attention because I have certainly had my share of messy endings.  Things that ended badly; and my dad's suicide was one of them.

When we have these messy endings then bad feelings result and often lies follow that take root in our hearts, souls and minds.  I had a lot of lies that had stubbornly rooted themselves in my heart and soul and I needed to let my Master Gardener pull those out.

This weed and lie pulling process was what I believe resulted in my extreme healing in Idaho.  God spent the next few days through art, sharing and lots of love extracting those lies from my heart.  By the last night of camp I was more than ready to give them up and leave them in Idaho.

We wrote out the lies we'd believed, even wrote a letter to our old selves we were leaving behind.  I can't tell you how free I felt when I buried the torn pieces of the letter I had written to my old self and when I burned up the lies I had written out.  It truly was a freedom and joy I can't ever remember feeling.

There is so much more I could share but I think this was the most life changing part.  Even writing this now I feel the power of letting go of the lies I was believing.  And anytime those same lies knock on the door on my mind, I quickly slam the door and remind myself those lies are just that...lies.  And they are gone, I have let them go, they are burned up by the consuming fire of God.

Here are a few more photos of my experience at Brave Girls Camp...

Art Table Buddies (me in center)


On One of the Turquoise Art Barn Walls

Brave Girls Painting!

Me Believing Truth

I'm Working on It!

Here are a couple more hints at the details of a painting I've been working on this week.  Hope you enjoy them.  Next post you will see the finished painting!

By the way, I did most of this painting at a workshop with Renee Mak.  She is an amazing artist in West Des Moines, Iowa and I so enjoyed painting with her and getting to know her.  She is a great instructor and so patient.

She helped me keep painting when I became fearful and didn't know what to do next.  She just kept saying, "When you don't know what to do next, just do something."  So I did.  I finished the painting today.

Some people will tell you to have a great day...I'll just keep saying, "When depressed apply wet paint!"  And even if you're not!!


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